*** It has been a few weeks since I have wrote or posted for our blog. The truth is, that I took a break for a few weeks of summer. Not only did I take a break from blogging, but from running my Pure Romance business as well. In that time, so many things have happened. Some good, some bad, but all the things have helped lead me to a great decision about my career path. A definitive career path that I would not have found if I it had not been for all those that came before it, and the conversation and realizations that you are about to read. There is so much more to share.
“OMG! This is it! This is the adventure I have been looking for!”
Those were the only words that came to my head as my heart filled with joy and excitement. Lately, I have been really considering spirituality more and more. I am not a religious person by any means, but I am a spiritual one. I one-hundred percent, believe that there are forces within our world and universe that are unexplainable, forces that tie us all together as people, that allow us to reach our potential as we tap into the energy that we were born of. Most recently in this journey to find spirituality, I have found my soul more filled each time I am outside in nature. The more secluded and quiet the path, the better. I just found the adventure of a lifetime that will fill me more than I could possibly imagine. Iceland.
So, what does any excited person do when they find the place?! They call their person or significant other to the amazement, too. But here’s the thing; be careful about who you call for, because they may not see the beautiful possibilities as you do.
“Your dream was given to you. If someone else can’t see it for you, that’s fine, it was given to you and not them. It’s your dream. Hold it. Nourish it. Cultivate it!”Les Brown
In showing the most beautiful pictures imaginable to my husband, he scoffed at me. “What happened to Europe? One day it’s Europe, then Universal, now Iceland. How much is this going to cost?” Needless to say the situation only got worse as I gave him the $14,800 price tag… per person.
“We could buy a whole other house for the cost of all of us to go!” The pessimism struck my heart like a dagger, and then came my face. You know the one. The face that screams sadness, and disappointment all at the same time. It’s probably the face you make, or your children make at you. The one thing that I am uncertain of is if he saw the pity upon my face. I pitied my husband and his inability to dream big. I pitied that in the wake of his incessant CNN viewing he has become more skeptical about life, travel, adventure, and the beauty that our world still holds. I mean, maybe you have too?
Of course, I began to explain that if we truly buckled down on finances that we could totally do the trip by 2021. After seeing the face, he politely agreed that it would be fun and that we should do it. While I let the words flow from my mouth about how amazing it would be to see something so beautiful; I knew deep down in my heart that he would never be on the trip with me. Because any person who truly believes that it’s possible, who wanted to adventure, who would do it big, and was excited at the prospect would have stayed in the conversation to sit down to begin the planning process. He did not.
So there I sat, on my couch with the worst heartache imaginable. The heartache of knowing that we no longer want the same things out of life. That we no longer have the same dreams, beliefs, and vision for what life has in store for us. In the sadness of finally realizing that I lost my partner, I made the vow that I will not allow one person’s in ability to dream, hinder what I know lies ahead for me. This traveler will be going solo.
In the wake of this entire ten minute exchange, it made me wonder; how many adults have given up on dreaming, planning, doing, and achieving? Is this really all there is for life to offer; to work, worry, prepare another life to work, worry, and then die. I am not saying that I need to become Oprah or Darwin, and leave some undeniable mark upon the world. I don’t need to really be remembered at all. To only be remembered by my daughter and her children as a woman who LIVED life, a woman who played by most of the rules, but broke the most irrelevant and unimportant ones, a woman that dared to see more of the world than any other family member before her. An adventurous woman.
More importantly, when that moment comes that I am no longer allowed to walk the earth, I want to know that I did and saw the most extraordinary things. Don’t you?
Whoever we are, we have to carve something out of our lives. I would like to be on my deathbed going, ‘I’ve enjoyed that. I went through the rollercoaster of it, but I appreciated it.’Noma dumezweni